i can't take it anymore

The truth is I can't take it anymore. I am pretty much break down into pieces. Only if things would just be like a novel, or a movie where a happy ending is a must, to make the audiences the "aww..." feeling. There's no such a thing as a "beautiful mistake" there's only the ugly, shameful, depressing mistake. But was it a mistake or not? i certainly hope it wasn't. But it is impossible to make someone to fall in love with you. You just can't do it. I always thought it's something that could be build or construct with nature, but I guess i was wrong on that one. The joke is on me, caring too much, think too much. To this point I am at the same spot, depressed, upset, and I don't want to do this anymore. Feeling my head and my heart split into pieces again and again makes me go insane.



The following are some paintings i've been working on, they are not finish yet.